Monthly Archives: August 2003

Sitting Ducks

i am experiencing what might be termed as blog fatigue, basically i think i am trying to couch my laziness in a mouthful of jargon…hehe…read a couple of blogs that have commented on the blasts in mumbai…..i honestly dont understand why we are so passive about it, as a country, life goes on as normal, remember 9/11, sure you do, its a global phenomenon, we have had worse death counts, but never marketed so well..btw, the US calls it collateral when the deaths arent US citizens….they created a war based on it, and none of the world had any balls to do anything about it…
everyone and anyone can safely guess that there is a pak hand in what happened in Mumbai, now and before…for once why cant we be like an israel or the US, blast the guys and then have ‘bilateral talks’…..i used to trust RAW once, not now……now , we are all sitting ducks hoping and praying that we are not in the next lot of casualties, there is another prayer along with it, that it rains fire in karachi, lahore, islamabad…………

We forget

i have been reading ‘where the rain is born’…its a collection , i found a lil part in a particular piece that i found very thought provoking…will give you the gist…long before man started ruling the earth, long before the giant lizards, two spores set out on an incredible journey, after some time they came to a lush green valley, the younger spore said ‘lets journey on further, and see more wonders’, the elder one said ‘i’m too tired, i will stay here, you carry on, but promise me you will never forget me’..the younger one said, ‘forget you, impossible’…the elder one replied, ‘this is the loveless journey of karma, you will…’…..and so the younger one journeyed on…eons and eons later, in the lush green valley, the elder spore had spread its roots deep into the earth, and had flowered….. a lil girl, all dressed up and looking pretty came to pluck some flowers …… the man who came with her, pulled a twig down so that she could pluck the flowers…as she was plucking the flower, the elder spore cried, ‘ah, little sister, you have forgotten me’….

What dreams may come

i have a hypothesis, is it possible that god has given a quota of dreams per person, maybe as small as one dream, that can come true..this is not about the dreams you have at night, this is more the aspirational kind of dreams…… that after you have achieved that one goal, god believes you have done the work you came down here for, and now your life will be a monotony of unachieved dreams, and the rest of your existence will be spent following them…..sort of like the donkey and the carrot…….or maybe He takes the passion/drive that is required to pursue a dream and bring it to its culmination….I was also wondering about the male of the species’ attraction to the T&A of the opposite gender….. another hypothesis now, could it be because it is always covered….imagine a scenario where lets say the ears were always covered and the above mentioned accessories always left open…..would the attraction be now directed towards the ears???
goodbye, and heres manuscrypts trivia
a lil paki bashing, because i am peeved that the indian government is sponsoring the surgery of three paki kids…. as far as pakistan is concerned, i have no humanity left in me…An Indian is having breakfast one morning (coffee, bread, butter and jam) when a Pakistani, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Indian ignores the Pakistani who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Pakistani man: “You Indian folk eat the whole bread??”Indian (in a bad mood): “Of course.”Pakistani: (after blowing a huge bubble) “We don’t. In Pakistan, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into bread and sell them to India .” The Pakistani has a smirk on his face. The Indian listens in silence. The Pakistani persists: “Do you eat jelly with the bread??” Indian: “Of Course.”Pakistani: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). “We don’t. In Pakistan we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the India.”The Indian then asks: “Do you have sex in Pakistan?”Pakistani: “Why of course we do”, he says with a big smirk. Indian: “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”Pakistani: “We throw them away, of course.”Indian: “We don’t. In India, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Pakistan.”

Metro Spiritualism

this is gonna be a lil blog, coz i plan to leave early… the title is on an article i read about… a new concept i think…. i think at the bottom line, it would be about living a clean life, and feeling good about oneself….read about it in indiatimes…i am too lazy to write anything more today…will leave you with
manuscrypts trivia
a good fwd i got
The Old Dilapidated Boat
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out hisboat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could fromthe sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John’s wife had died suddenly in his absence.When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him forJohn and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible.”Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, “Hell no!Fact is I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.””I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that shewasn’t very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time andshe split right up the middle.”The old woman fainted.

Crime and Punishment

nope, nothing to do with the book……just another curious idea that entered my head…..when we do regard animals and plants as living beings, and even thinking beings, how come people who kill them go scot free, yes, there is a hype when the odd salman shoots a buck, but otherwise , what about the chickens, cows, lambs, fishes, crabs, shrimps etc… no, i am not being ultra moral, i was just wondering about the double standards of us humans, we cry murder, (no pun intended) when there is a human killing involved, but we choose to close our eyes to the co inhabitants of our planet…..
i am non veggie , so i can only be so objective … but even in case of veggies, plants are living too….now if we do state an argument that it is darwin’s rule being practically applied here, we have to apply the same thing to happenings within the human species too, shouldnt we, just to be fair??
oh man, it helps to have an ad in the front page, hehe, my counter isnt moving…… :-), unlike our award winners, i am not going to claim that the count does not matter and i get satisfaction from my work, hehe…so thats it for the day, with the only thing left being
manuscrypts trivia
a fwd i got…An elderly couple are sitting around one evening and the man says to the wife, “Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary.We’ve had a wonderful life together, full of contentment and blessings.But there’s something I’ve always wondered about.Tell me the truth.Have you ever been unfaithful to me?”She hesitates a moment, then says, “Yes, 3 times,Sidney.””Three times? How could that happen?” Sidney asks.The wife begins recalling slowly, “Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were so broke, and the bank wasgoing to foreclose on our little house?””Yes, dear, that was really a terrible time” replies the man.Marsha continued, “And remember when I went to see the banker one night and the next day the bank extended our loan?””That’s hard to take” the man says, “but I guess it really was for us,so I can forgive you.””What was the second time?””Well,” she continued, “do you remember years later when you almost died from the heart problem because we couldn’t afford theoperation?””Yes, of course” the man replies.”Then you will remember that right after I went to see the doctor, he did your operation at no cost?” she explained.”That’s true” Sidney nodded. “That shocks me, Marsha, but I do understand that you did it out of love for me, and I forgive you.So, what was the third time?”Marsha lowers her head and says, “Sidney, do you remember when you ran for Country Club President and you needed 62 morevotes?”Sidney fainted……

The age of innocence

and the dream is finally over….yesterday i told my wife that this week i would be taken off from the main page, have almost understood the rediff cycle, will try a prediction on my second coming, soon.. :-)
since i had a 3 day weekend, lots of time for contemplation… was wondering, kids grow up very fast these days, thats only a noticed phenomenon, no practical experience…. but the things they think about and talk about, if i do a comparison to my generation’s mindshare items, i guess i would be in for a massive complex.. they do grow up faster, dont they?? and so, the age of innocence is becoming smaller…at some point of time, mentally and emotionally, we wouldnt be able to differentiate between kids and adults…another thought crossed my mind, the numerical difference between ages 20 & 40 and 70 & 90, are same, but the practicalities are so different??
cola bashers, one for you, india has reasons for attacking Us and most of the world, coz they have WMD…. colas!!! ;-)
i read an article today in ToI, it seems arun nayar, would-be hubby of Liz Hurley (ooooomph!!), had poured hydrochloric acid in a public pool, no damages coz some pool attendants saw it, now the press is gonna skeleton hunting in cupboards…must be the result of the prayers of a few million heartbroken males, and i guess some females too ;-)
check out this feature that appeared on rediff….manu’s team ManU has just registered its first win in the league… did u know that it beat arsenal in a pre-season friendly… red devils, thats the way to march…have finished roald dahl, the guy becomes good, in an eerie way, in his later stories, so if you are buying the book, (the best of roald dahl) start from the end….theres an especially good story on adolf hitler, have to hand it to dahl, he has a way about macabreness and eeriness..hehe
have started on “where the rain is born”, edited by anita nair (link on my medialist), its a compilation, stories, articles, poems about kerala…. so far, good…..i read a review on some book in ToI, the person who wrote the review (shit, i cant get her name, would love to do some mudslinging with the name ;-) ) writes that the particular book, though it is from an indian author, is not about kerala nostalgia, and stories swirling in mango curry…… hello, its not our fault if we happen to be a very literate state, and kinda expressive, and who manage to attract tourists consistently, and keep them happy, so that they write about it!! (ok, anger vented)now for some
manuscrypts trivia
all those who frequent elevators, this one’s for you
oh copyrights-wise, its a forward :-)
Things to do in a Lift
When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend.
After awhile, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
Ask, “Did you feel that?
“Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”
Swat at flies that don’t exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura
Call out, “Group hug!” then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space.”

Independence, but..

tomorrow we start off our version of the independence day weekend, but a question still bothers me, how come we are celebrating independence day?? we were never dependent on our british conquerors at any point of time, in fact they were dependent on us for the smooth running of their economy, whether it be for cheap labour, market for the products of their industrial revolution or even as vacation spots for the sahibs…… so shouldnt we be actually calling it freedom day??
and in any case, i believe it should only be called freedom day version 1, v1 because we still havent become free of the ultra dumb bueraucracy or the ultra corrupt political system, and we are still not free from illiteracy, unemployment, poverty, only when we become totally free as a country can we ever claim to have the complete version , and yes, at athat point of time, we will still have other issues, which we cant imagine today…i was just thinking, i dont have the sufficient literary skills to write a book or even a short story….but why cant i write a bloggers anthology, history will remember us as the first generation of bloggers, and we should be doing something to chronicle it, what say????
in case u r wondering, how the blog’s posted early today, boss is on vacation and as the saying goes, “when the cat’s out, the mice will play”… :-)am leaving you with
manuscrypts trivia
another fwd i got…We r living in 2003 where …..
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a “0” to get an outside line.
8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.
11. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.
12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
13. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
14. Contract workers outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
16. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience,terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
18. Your boss gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, but you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
19. Being sick is defined as you can’t walk or you’re in hospital.
20. There’s no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss’s boss on strategy.
21. Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers”.
AND THE CLINCHERS ARE.
22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your “friends”.
24. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you often anymore(with exceptions),except to send you jokes from the net.
25. AND YOU ARE TOO BUSY TO NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO NUMBER 9!

Ancestral Traits

thats because, in my blog habits, i am exhibiting some ancestral traits, i visited gandalf’s blog in the morning, got a link to a toon site and a copyrights site from there, so have added them, visit gandalf’s site, good piece of work…..also read wonderbug’s post (thats staple diet), today’s is especially good..so go have a look at that… essentially, i have been scavenging, and thats what some of my ancestors did, yours too, :-)
will write my bit on the same premise that w-bug’s post was, it basically says that after a certain age, you no longer feel you are ‘with it’…. i have experienced that feeling too, many times, i can recall one particular instance a couple of years back, i met this girl who was in kindergarten the last time i saw her, and a couple of years back she had just completed her class 10 exams, i realised that time was indeed flying, and the kind of things that were important to her and on which she spent ‘thinking time’ on, were not at all what i had in my set, when i was her age…..but , do i want to f9 my life, i guess not….my perceptions have changed, as each day passes, i become more defined as a person, i understand myself more and more, and i can relate better to myself……so i will agree with w-bug on that, at 25, i am happy, the way i am….now, for
manuscrypts trivia
a fwd i got…Three HDFC employees and three ICICI employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three ICICI employees each buy tickets and watch as the three HDFC employees buy only one ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a ICICI employee. “Watch and youll see”, answers an HDFC employee. They all board the train. The ICICI employees take their respective seats but all three HDFC employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “ticket please”. The door opens just a little and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The ICICI employees saw this and agreed it was a clever idea. After the conference, the ICICI employees decide to copy the HDFC employees (…..as they know how…….) on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money and all). When they get to the station,they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the HDFC employees dont buy a ticket. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asks a ICICI employee. “Watch and youll see,” answers the HDFC employee. When they board, the three ICICI employees cram into a restroom and the three HDFC employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the HDFC employee leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the ICICI employees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please…” The door opens just a little and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand the HDFC employee grabs the ticket and runs to his restroom. MORALE OF THE STORY: DONT IMITATE—INNOVATE!!

One step at a time, still

have been wondering about the roller coaster ride called life, much like wonderbug, in her post…….yesterday was another ‘gaze at the stars’ night, so there was lucky ali playing in the background, a pepsi in hand and star gazing, although, being a cloudy night, there were hardly any stars, but the sky served the purpose….
i am generally cautious by nature, but what i was wondering was that there were so many defining moments in my life so far, where one moment’s thought or decision has effectively set my life on a particular track…..now when i think of it, there are a 101 ( in management lingo) opportunity costs…..
for example what if i had decided that i would focus on only bio and no maths during my +2, i might have lost a year, i might have been still studying medicine or i might have become a good doctor by now……what if i decided i didnt want to go for a pg, i might have been a programmer…and so, with each action/inaction i have changed all things associated with it, and thereby created or destroyed so many manu’s, and i guess, so also altered the people in my life……according to one space/time theory, they are all existing in parallel universes, leading parallel lives….. my guess, they must all be blogging…. :-)
all ye budding storywriters, ram gopal varma is on the lookout, so if you wanna get famous post, read this article
have got a humour board , thanks to wonderbug…..all u bloggers, its free and quite good…..thanks for tuning in, will leave you with
manuscrypts trivia
fwdd by a guy working in tcs
One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk. They were old buddies from engg college, and they were together for a college reunion..For no apparent reason, they went into this zoo and passed a monkey. Being in the same business and from the same college, there was a little bit of a peer competition going on between themselves – they couldn’t resist testing themselves against each other – especially the Infosys guy. Said he to the others:”Why don’t we prove who is the best among ourselves?”. Why not, said the other two.The Infoscion said “Let’s have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm”.By mutual agreement, the Infoscion took the first turn. Being a pure logical strategist, the Infoscion tried to make the monkey laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures… no good, the monkey stayed put… Now, comes the TCSer… being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey’s ear, and it burst out laughing at him.The other two were astonished. How did this TCS guy manage to beat them?No way they were going to accept defeat so easily.So the Wipro guy said “OK, let’s take another test. Let’s make this monkey cry !!”So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The Infosys guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again…Then, the TCSer again whispered something into the monkey’s ear and lo! It started crying, patting the TCSer’s shoulder!The other two just could not believe their eyes!So the Infoscion said “OK, you’ve won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let’s make this monkey run”. And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey – still No go. So…here comes our TCS guy, again, and whispers into the monkey’s ear. The monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!The other two surrendered. Said they: “OK, we give up. You’re the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three.But please, please tell us your secret,” they begged him. “Well”, said the TCSer,”The first time I made it laugh, I told it I work for TCS. The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid…so it started crying. And then I told him that I was here for recruitment!!!”

Finally…

today’s post is going to be bollywood based……the title because finally i saw a good movie, 3 dewarein by nagesh k (i dont want to spoil the guy’s surname)… the plot , seems to me, is based on an old short story/joke, but i am not taking away anything from the guy, because he has made one hell of a movie….. and an absolute stunning background track, and some of the best performances, everyone’s good, my fave would be jackie, then naseruddin shah, nagesh k and juhi chawla, gulshan grover is also good…. you can see many actors/tresses from hyderabad blues, ones who played the best friend, the aunty who wants to get her daughter married off to nagesh….i watched the movie twice, must be the only time i watched the same movie twice in a day….
i simply loved much of the philosophy (of the characters) in the movie, like when juhi asks naseer whether he feels any guilt after killing a person, he says, what is the point? guilt means i wont do it again, theek hai, i wont…but my feeling guilty will not bring the dead person back to life…..so , watch it, watch it, watch it!!!!
also saw hungama, it is a hindi version of priyadarshan’s first mallu movie, and all i can say is that akshaye khanna is not mohanlal….and the only actor who can be compared to the malayali counterpart is paresh rawal….i honestly cant see why people rave about a. khanna, he is ok, but not spectacular….
cola bashing daemons, did you see the ads given out by both pepsi and coke regarding those test finds? results in bangalore are well and truly below the specified norms, so wonderbug, Anu…stop PESTering the poor souls who treat Pepsi as staple diet :-)
and yes, i have to address this issue, i dont think i have ever claimed originality rights to the stuff i post, it is only meant for pure entertainment ….. for me as well as others who read this…be fair to me, i always quote my sources….if i find a funny or ‘food for thought’ message or forward, i will just go ahead and post it, coz maybe i like making people happy and seeing them smile…..so spare me lectures on CCPs and anti plagiarism …lemme be….and like i have quoted once, “if you want to create an apple pie from scratch, you have to create the universe first”, so once and for all, i am indian, i dont believe in copyrights….
manuscrypts trivia
“my thoughts are mine
mine alone to keep,
and mine to hide
deep, deep, deep”
——- jaggu in 3 dewarein….