Life Ordinary

Live Empty

By in Life, Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It No Comments Tags: , , , , ,

old tree and new tree stories

(via)

Such is the pace of life now that I can easily identify with the opening paragraph here. As I read on, I completely loved the part about the graveyard being the most valuable land in the world, “because with all of those people are buried unfulfilled dreams, unwritten novels, masterpieces not created, businesses not started, relationships not reconciled.” The rest of the article is about dying empty – to complete every task, thought, action, to leave nothing unspoken, uncreated, unwritten. 

Later, I read on Brain Picking, “Henry Miller on Creative Death“, in which Henry Miller, defining art, says, “Strange as it may seem today to say, the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. In this state of god-like awareness one sings; in this realm the world exists as poem. No why or wherefore, no direction, no goal, no striving, no evolving…. This is the sublime, the a-moral state of the artist, he who lives only in the moment, the visionary moment of utter, far-seeing lucidity…. in the sense that any moment, every moment, may be the all; for the artist there is nothing but the present, the eternal here and now, the expanding infinite moment which is flame and song.” And later in the article “On the contrary, his zest for life is so powerful, so voracious that it forces him to kill himself over and over. He dies many times in order to live innumerable lives.“

I read a pattern in these. Of dying every day and being reborn the next day. A new life. I faintly understand and relate to this, but within me is another side that plans, that likes stability, and saves for a rainy day. I am unsure of how these two can co-exist. And I can’t help but be drawn to the lines at the beginning of the Miller post ““One aspect of our nature cannot be exalted above another, except and the expense of one or the other.” 

If so, I already know the winner, and as the first post points out, that would create an angst, or a perpetual state of discontent. It would seem as though the opposite of ‘die empty’ can only be ‘live empty’. There can be no middle path, and that’s scary and sad.

until next time, empty vessels and a lot of noise

Food for the soul

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It 2 Comments Tags: , , ,

Thanks to Zomato, I got to spend some bak bak time with Mayur back in February. Along with Rocky, this guy gets to do the two things I’d rather do always – eat and travel. While it was a fun meet up, it was impossible to agree on the subject of meat. Most of the others around were fanatical carnivores – like myself (and I was wearing a tee with the message above) – so we traded insults with him for the first few minutes before the man silenced us with “food is like religion, and you should not piss on other people’s temples”.

After that the conversation quickly moved to life philosophy. I (along with at least one other person) was curious to know how he kept himself interested in the food + travel routine. Wouldn’t it get monotonous? We talked of retaining child-like levels of curiosity and wonder, an openness to experiences, of starting the day asking what newness can be done today and realised that as we grow older, we look for reasons not to do things, as opposed to the reverse.

After taking my trip with a food quote, (and underlining his instant wit) he went off to talk to other folks, and the rest of discussed how this also translates to how we interact with other people. Earlier, we used to trust others until they gave us a reason not to, and these days, it’s exactly the reverse. I wondered if this is probably related to the ‘openness to experiences’ we had talked of earlier.  More

Friendship grants

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil 4 Comments Tags: , , ,

In Rediff’s review of Kai Po Che, there’s a line that goes “Quoting from Bollywood, impromptu excursions and taking each other for granted without guilt is the prerogative of buddy-dom,…” That’s probably arguable, but if it is right, I now understand why my buddy count has been low since inception.

The first – excursions – I think, can be handled. That’s despite my obsession with planning. :) The second is a completely different story though. I hate taking people for granted and if I end up doing it and realising it later, I get guilt pangs even after apologising. It probably comes from the premise that I hate being taken for granted and thus the “Do unto others as you would have them do to you” gets applied. More

Lovestrong

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It No Comments Tags: , , , , ,

Slightly dated in the context of real time, but I thought this was a pertinent read in the Armstrong era. It’s titled “Honesty of the long-distance runner” and is about a Spanish runner Iván Fernández Anaya. He was running second in a race he had no chance of winning when he saw race leader Abel Mutai pull up about 10 meters before the finish, thinking he had already crossed the line. Instead of exploiting the situation, he let the Kenyan win using gestures to communicate. He thought it was the fair thing to do. He also candidly said that if a Eur/World medal was at stake, he’d probably have done things differently.

I saw this poster at gaping void, related to  purpose, but twisted it a bit in this context. It isn’t as though there aren’t things we love to do. As we move further in life, we learn more about the way life works. Sometimes these things we love make business sense, sometimes they don’t or requires either stellar talent or more hard work than we are willing to put in. Some of us work at it, some of us lock the love away and some of us decide to find an easy way out. And thus it is that even things which involve love and passion – sports and arts – have been converted into competitions and ruthless economically viable phenomena. So really, where does the corruption begin?

until next time, strong-armed

Fence sitting

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil No Comments Tags: , ,

It’s easy to guess the book from where this has been taken. I started reading it only recently. (yes, yes, give me a painful death) “Others dwelt here before… and others will dwell here again…” is pretty timeless, but I was more fascinated by the line after that “The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot forever fence it out.“

To an almost ‘asocial’ like me, fencing myself in has been an escape route that I use more often than not. It’s also why this is one of my favourite songs

But of late, I am not sure how much fencing oneself in works, especially since the world will find a way to intrude. Probably a sign that I’m getting old, or at least older! In fact, attempts at it become a struggle, one that serves no purpose. That’s probably why most people don’t treat it as black & white, and get by with occasional forays into their fenced-in world.

until next time, keep fencing

I, the responsible

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It No Comments Tags: , , , ,

…and the poor poor girl died earlier in the day I wrote this. Given the delay between my writing posts, and them getting published here, we should have collectively moved on from the issue by now, at least in terms of mind space and media space- mainstream as well as trending topics.

Much, much has been written about the issue – the male/female/Indian/ NRI/feminist/opportunist/armchair activist/ weekend activist/ ‘I was there to protest’ perspective, and these were only some examples – slice and dice any way you like and you’d find a voice that spoke on behalf of the piece you carved. Like this.

Much as I abhor what happened, I see it (rape) only as one symptom of the disease we all have – our own malformed sense of justice. Probably one of the worst symptoms, but not the only one. Injustice is injustice, and it varies by degrees only on the basis of our own perspectives of right and wrong. It happens everyday – talking on the mobile phone while driving/riding, fudging tax forms, making the maid plead for a salary raise, bribing a cop, drinking and driving because you have assured yourself that you are still in control… ask your conscience, you’ll come up with many more. No, I’m not really confusing it with breaking the law – here’s an example. Five hundred times you speak on the phone while driving and nothing happens, but nothing stops the five hundred and first time being the instance that maims someone for life, and leaving him/her bereft of limbs, and perhaps dignity. Ask that person which is a larger crime – what happened to him or a gang rape – the answer should not be surprising. Every action/inaction that affects the dignity of another person, that shows another person that one can get away with breaking the law, that walks the grey area between absolute right and wrong in however minute a way, is injustice in some form.  And in this daily, casual, personal #theekhai attitude to justice lie the seeds of every horrible act of injustice. Any kid watching this today and seeing the perpetrator walk away scot free will imagine he can get away with a bigger crime. And so it grows, and morphs into multi-thousand crore scams and gang rapes further down the chain. A bit like the broken windows theory.

Granted that an elected government has among its duties the responsibility of ensuring the protection of its citizens. Should we protest if they do not? Of course, but that does not absolve me of my obligation, nor does it free me of the nagging thought that as a race, our notion of justice is based on convenience. Sometimes I wonder if the birth of laws in society was a response to the slow death of justice within human beings.

So yes, I am the privileged who can update my Facebook status, and move on with my life. I am responsible and there’s nothing I can do about it. Before I casually judge others, I have to wonder if I have the moral authority to do so. After all, I only vary by degrees.

(image via gaping void)

until next time, </justice>

Stated Obsession

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil No Comments Tags: , ,

A defining purpose, or rather, the lack of it, is something that has been gnawing at me for a while now. One can go about the daily motions of life without defining a purpose, and it need not affect professional objectives or progress. In fact life must, and will go on without a purpose, but once the gnawing begins, it is difficult to rid of. It might be the result of something that I am often accused of – extra doses of analysis – self and otherwise. :)

A friend-in-law (coined to refer to the spouse of a friend :D ) recently got probably one of the biggest highs possible in his domain – a result, I am sure, of the hard work he put in, and his unwavering belief in the self. The hard earned outcome of a well stated purpose and well directed passion. May he have many more.

One of my favourite Malayalam movies in recent times (actually in the all-time list as well) is Ustad Hotel, about a young man and his choices – two paths and their implications symbolised by his father and grandfather respectively. The game changer in the movie is inspired by Narayanan Krishnan. (do read if you are not familiar with the name) In real life, Narayanan Krishnan has defined his purpose, and bravely soldiers on, helping those who have no one else to help them.

Completely different scenarios, with completely different motivations, but linked by the presence of a purpose. I can cite excuses – primarily the business of living and an interest in way too many things to devote myself completely to one – but I know those are just excuses. I am still searching for the reason – the inability to find something that defines me or the inability to devote myself to pursuing it, or just sheer lack of guts. My only hope is that I have some time left, but the clock is ticking.

until next time, a gnawing tick

Posture child

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It No Comments Tags: , , ,

I guess that’s the reason why Calvin & Hobbes is so utterly loved by so many folks. Profound, timeless, universal truths expressed in such a unique way!

I had never seen this one until recently. Why blame Instagram for filters? They existed long before anyway :) I thought this strip found great application in all kinds of posturing from time immemorial, and especially so now – in the social media context, when everyone is a publisher. Over a period of time, I wonder how fast we would forget who we really are (if ever we come to know it or knew it) It would probably be irrelevant in the real-time era. We would be the statuses and photos and everything else we like and share every minute. After all, I’m no longer the person who wrote it anyway, and who’s to say the non posturing self is the real deal?

until next time, impostor :)

A life less rich…

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It No Comments Tags: , , ,

On Quora, there is a question which has been getting some very interesting answers – “Is getting rich worth it?” I remembered my post “Halve Notes” from sometime back when I saw it. Rich is of course a very relative term – relative not just in terms of comparison with others, but dependent on time, one’s location etc. Also, factors like one’s health, emotional well being etc have the potential to change the worth completely.

I don’t think I want to get super rich. I still ride an Activa, live in a rented apartment and  my consumption patterns do not really conform to my income, or as some say, my age. :D I have been trying to analyse why. I do like to spend on things I enjoy doing – books, movies, food, travel to name a few – and would not want to forego these for lack of money. But I also do not want to get used to things/habits I might find difficult to sustain later without compromising on my belief systems. So it’s a balancing act, with a bias towards caution thanks to my middle class upbringing perhaps.

My dystopian future is an old age where I cannot live life on my own terms. That’s probably why I found this story -of one Mr. PM Sahay – so distressing. It’s part of The Delhi Walla’s commendable 130000 portrait project. Mr.PM Sahay is a 74 year old retired bank manager who is forced to sell puppets in Connaught Place to  sustain his family. (I am hoping none of his Rohtak neighbours happen to see all this on the web!) He travels 50kms from his town every day. His legs ache, he says and he has to support himself on the columns and sit on manhole covers near rubbish bins. He is a victim of circumstances. The best laid plans can go wrong, after all. Being rich at least takes care of some things, it would seem.

until next time, a rich life…

Balance Wheel

By in Life Ordinary, mPhil, Think About It No Comments Tags: , , , , ,

Somewhere between the need to belong and the constraints of conformity lies that Utopian state. I am beginning to realise that this is applicable across all modes of social interaction, whether they be real or virtual.

It begins with people finding a common interest or ‘wavelength’ and sharing great vibes. School/college cliques, blogs and microblogs, workplaces, interest groups and so on.  Startups are fun places to work in the initial years because rules are made on the go, blogs and microblogs in their early days were sparsely populated and everyone was discovering their own voice and community norms.

I have always wondered what breaks the utopian state – time or an increase in the group size. These days I am beginning to be convinced that it is the latter. As each new member is added to the initial set, the needle begins to slowly shift from the erstwhile average. The addition of new members also changes the dynamics of the group and slowly the earlier common sense of belonging changes even as a new one is created. Some adapt, others refuse to conform and break away.

But what I have also realised recently is that there is a middle path – refusing to conform but refusing to go away either. It is a tightrope walk, and best done without baggage. And that’s the walk I am trying to learn, across my worlds.

until next time, walking schtick

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 »

Array